Choices ...

I was really getting inspired to write up my thoughts on the sanctity of life (overhyped, in my mind), the concept of good and evil, and some other very philosophical topics.
But then I came across some downloaded knowledge material on my laptop. Specifically, the documentary called "The Truth About Female Desire". This is BBC documentary about a study conducted by the Kinsey Institute into female sexuality.
This was a point in life where every man has to make a choice. And I made mine. And the blog post will be coming next week. Because right now, I am.

soooorrryyy .. bad Pun !

P.S. : The videos have been taken off from google video, but can be found on many bit-torrent sites. For newbies to this, just download the uTorrent client and install it. Then go to mininova, and click on "Download this torrent". uTorrent should automatically pick it up, and start downloading. Its about 1.6 Gb.

Rites of Passage ..

... through the airport customs, in this case.


On my recent trip back to India from SF, I was carrying some stuff for people, including a macbook pro. I had my own laptop, and my camera+lenses. It has been a while since I have had trouble with the legendary Indian Customs folks, but this time I was a little bit apprehensive, as I did have stuff that would be over the legal limit. And sure enough, as I went to pick up my baggage from the belt, I saw the dreaded white chalk marks on both my checked bags.

This is how it works : They x-ray the luggage as it gets on to the belts from the plane, and mark anything they see as "suspicious" in terms of dutiable goods. These are white chalk marks, and savvy travelers are often seen carrying a damp cloth to wipe these off. I have previously had these marks, but have managed to situate my luggage on the trolley in a way that they were not visible to the folks at the customs counter. But there was no escaping this time, the marks were on both bags, and had been done shrewedly enough that there was no way to hide them.

Interestingly, other hangers-on (a multitude of people doing nothing is a common site at any indian govt institution) had also seen the signs, and I started getting offers of "help" ! This basically means that for a small amount of money, this person will make sure that the customs folks dont look too carefully at my bags. I have a slight aversion to these people, and the way they slimily operate, though I am not totally averse to the idea of paying some money to save me some hassle. I know the logic is impeccable .. but dont ask me to explain !

I rejected all these advances, and started walking towards the exit. I was almost through, when this one young fellow quickly spotted the marked bags, and asked me to get them x-rayed again. I followed him, and put my stuff in the machine. My first bag had my camera, and I told him so.

Him : "What kind of camera ?"
Me: "Its a SLR with 2 lenses. I have owned these for a while, and take them with me everywhere"
Him : "Hmmm !"

Then we got to the second bag. I told him that I had a small camera as a gift for someone, and a small pen tablet. I did conveniently forget about the 24" LCD monitor and the macbook pro. Well, I did pack my luggage about a week ago, and had had many a druken revelry since then. I think I had a legitimate excuse !

At this point he thinks he has enough to extract some money out of me.

"How do you want to handle this Sir ? The camera and lenses are worth quite a bit, and we will have to charge duty on them"

I should have left it at that, given him a C note or so, and gone my merry way. But again, I wanted to justify myself.

"How can you charge duty on a camera which I have had for a while, and will take back with me when I go ?"
"Do you have a shipping manifesto for it ?" (or some such crap)"
"?????"

Not getting the easy money, he now asked me to open the other bag. And stuff started spilling out. As soon as he saw the macbook, his eyes lit up. To be fair, you are allowed to import one laptop. I had my own, which I would take back with me. But this argument would not cut any ice with him. He had seen the light at the end of the silver tunnel, and he was not going to let any logic come between him and salvation.

500 Dollars. Thats how much it would cost me to get my stuff through. Unofficial, of course. I told him I did not have that kind of money, and started opening my walled to show him. He quickly stopped me, and sent me to a shady corner with another dude. I had $175 on me. Dude2 saw it, went to Dude1. Dude1 looked at me, and made a sign saying "No Way !". They left me alone to think about it.

So now I started down a path which I hate taking. I started calling poeple I know. I put in some calls, and stood there waiting while they called people they knew. Now Dudes 1 and 2 got some hint that I was trying to pull one on them, and got a little antsy. So after 5 minutes, Dude2 comes back to me

"Do you have any Indian currency ?"
"No !"
"OK .. lets settle this at $175"
"Hmmm .. lets wait for 5 minutes now. I called someone to help me, and let me tell him its OK now"

Now you could see some desperation creeping into his voice. He could see the moolah slipping out of his hands.

"Well, you can always tell them later. You can give me the money now, and lets get you out of here"
"No. lets wait for 5 minutes"

Now I got a call back from a contact, and he said that he was sending someone to help me. Sure enough, a inner door opened, a senior offiical showed up, and just told me to walk out of there. I did not need to be told twice !!

When I reflect back on this whole episode, I find that it does not bother my conscience at all. Theoretically, I should have paid a duty of about $50 on the stuff I was carrying. My own laptop and camera (that I have owned for a long time) should not have been included in the inventory of dutiable items. If the officer had been honest and logical, I would actually have paid that duty. That was the reason I did not avail of any "help". But the officer saw a potential source of money and made life difficult for me. I would even have paid the $175. But he was greedy. So he ended up with a big fat nada.

Serves him right !

Bollywood Dancing

Niki's cousing Neeta (cousin Neeta from now on) is married to a german fellow, and they are living in Delhi as expats. Lovely woman .. always upbeat, and ready for anything (like clubbing till 5 am). This inspite of having 2 kids. Anyway, one day she invited us to go to a local club on the "commercial night". This is when they play hindi/bollywood songs. She was meeting up with some friends from her Bollywood Dancing class.

I showed up not quite knowing what to expect. There was this set of women, all non-indian, all dancing (quite well, i must say) to the beats of "Beedi" ! One chinese woman, one mongolian, and two others that I forget. It was amazing. On later conversations, I found out that all of them are expats (husbands are diplomats mostly), and they find this a great way to keep fit. I met them all on and off on various night outs, and kinda know them by now.

On Saturday, we celebrated a belated Holi at Delphine's terrace. Bhang and beer were in abundance, as well as "pukka" colors from Dehradun. Cousin Neeta and one of the bollywood dancing girls (Nevis) decided to show us some moves from the class. We were treated to a amazing coordinated dance, exactly as Saroj Khan drew it up for the sets. Poeple were peeping from neighbouring houses. There was a rumor that tickets were being sold to let people watch ! This was no amateur stuff, the moves were highly choreographed steps, befitting professional dancers.

Now I was intrigued. Cousin Neeta asked me and Cousin Gogi (both with nothing to do) to come to this class with them. So we showed up at this house in Vasant Vihar on a tuesday morning. Let me just confess that our motives were not altogether altruistic or curious. The beginners class was just ending, and I met all of the other dancers, some of whom I knew from before. I also met the obviously gay indian youth who was the teacher.

And then the class started. The initial few songs were ones that had already been done, just to warm up. It was amazing to see these dozen or so women, none of them indian, gyrate sensuously to the latest hindi numbers. The dances were all very peppy, and specifically meant for "extras" that dance along with the stars in these videos. There were variations in style (some of the women were dancing more "athletically", some were more "sensuous", and some were very close to the western concept of modern dance), but as a group, they were extremely attractive to watch. The moves in these dances (as i discovered) are not the slightly languid and delicate stuff that goes on when the main actors are serenading each other. These are power moves, with each beat dissected to cram the maximum movement, and the dancers were really sweating after just one number. A great workout, as they pointed out.

The only complaint Cousin Neeta had with the teacher was that the moves were too "manly" !!

Maybe I will join the beginners class. Atleast check out the women there. Can't beat a workout that feels like a night out at the club. But this is a secret. I would never live down the stigma of learning Bollywood Dancing.

Costa Rica .. Uno

(finally catching up on the writing .. this is a backdated post)

15th April

The first impression of Liberia airport is that of a huge hangar, open at both ends, containing the immigration and customs folks. Equally gigantic fans gently stir the moisture laden tropical air. The overall impression is that of arriving at a place where time has slowed down. And I mean that in a good way.

Since I had a 5 hr delay before the next flight (to San Jose), I decided to see if I could check in early at the local airline (Sansa). I did find the counter, but it was completely deserted. Actually, after the humdrum of my flights arrival had died down, the whole airport seemed to go for a siesta. I switched from shoes to flip-flops and began reading my book.

At around 4:45 (1 hr before the flight), I wandered over to the counter once more. This time a woman came out of the small office and told me that the flight would be about 45 mins late. Total baggage allowance at Sansa is 25 lb (inc hand baggage), and I was well over that. But she decided not to charge me extra.

The reason for this largesse was soon revealed. I was supposedly the ONLY passenger on that flight. The plane arrived about 1 hr late, and it was a wonder to behold. Single prop. 12 seater.  No separate cockpit. Basically the pilot gave his pre-flight instructions by turning his head to me and speaking them out loud. The good part was that I was able to peek over his shoulder during the whole landing (which was after dark), and it was really cool to watch the runway, lit up like a christmas tree, coming closer and closer.

Checked in, had a couple of margaritas, and waited for Navin. Went out to the town, got even more drunk, and woke up bright and early the next day. After some distractions, went down to the rental car place. Were given a diesel 4wd, and were sent out with some expert sounding directions which involved two crucial turns. We missed both of them ! Made our way back to the airport, changed our rental vehicle, and got a fresh set of directions. The only problem was that the turns were described, but in answer to our legitimate query about how to identify the turns, the response was that you will just have to know. Excellent.

We finally did manage to get on the highway (not bad at all, BTW). And of course, we missed the turn to Jaco. But that turned out to be OK, as we took a small byway, which was the scenic route. Stopped for a local snack at an idyllic town. Love the attitude towards life that the Ticos have. The town square had a big tent serving beer. Food stalls nearby. A festival like atmosphere. Soccer games in progress.

After enjoying (and endlessly photographing) the sunset in the company of the local dog and sundry alligators, we reached Quepos after nightfall.

Timed it well so that the Germans (who had arrived earlier) would have had ample time to buy supplies and settle down in the villa. Evil. And realized that the warning to only get 4wd vehicles was quite prudent. Managed to drive down the narrow (and extremely steep) driveway without any incident. Cold beer was waiting, and we in turn waited for the arrival of the main party from Liberia. What helped in that vigil was the 12 bottles of wine that the main party was supposed to have.

Party came, party started, and the house was divided up. Navin, Seshan and me, as the resident bachelors, were allotted spaces in the laundry room and the pantry ! Cest La Vie.

Perplexed, maybe regretful, even distraught

I have been closing out so many things recently  .. people, experiences, places ! Judging (and rejecting) from first impressions. Worrying too much about other people judging me ! And I did not even realize I was doing this. Its so easy to get into a defensive shell and start firing pre-emptive salvos at anyone that approaches. The self-deception then comes automatically to cover the fact that you are doing this.

Something happened yesterday that made me suddenly aware of what was happening. I was perplexed .. because I did not realize I was doing it. Regretful .. that I did it to someone, and possibly hurt them. And distraught .. that I am capable of doing the very things that I disapprove of in other people.

I am sure that 2 years ago this would not have happened. I was always able to find a good vibe, and connect with people (maybe just fleetingly). What has changed ? I no longer have a regular job. I am not in a relationship. And I am almost a nomad .. wandering from Delhi to San Francisco .. spending a month or two at each place, with no time to grow roots in either one. Is it the new urgency of trying to take in a place because I know I will soon be away from here ? Or just too much time on my hands, doing nothing creative, the brain atrophying, seeking ephemeral pleasures to distract itself. Or maybe, as the wisdom goes, I just need to get laid more often :-)

Ah! Of Course! Its the tooth pain. Sucking all the life forces, leaving behind a bitter rancor, the pestilence of hate. Yes, I think I will blame the physical for the lapse in the spiritual. So easy to find a scapegoat.

Doing something creative (or being around a creative process) is what I am yearning for right now. This writing exercise is part of it. The two other things I will work on is the music and the pictures. Maybe this will keep me busy for a while.

Again .. this blog is mostly a personal journal. It is meant to give me a snapshot of my historical thoughts and actions, rather than be a voyeuristic window into my soul. And an advertisement for the fact that I can be a good pop-psychologist. Maybe even a cult leader.

Holy matrimony !

Now that my grandmom is no more, my parents are trying to find a new thing to worry about. Yesterday they decided to bring a dead horse back to life. They wanted to know when I would get married, and why I was refusing to entertain them on this aspect. I told them that its as simple as not having any desire towards it. Logically, this usually signifies the last step in an argument : If I dont want to do it, why should I ? But we decided to go further into it. Why did I not desire the blessed state of matrimony ? Was I against the institution ? No, I said. If at some point I meet someone who inspires this desire in me, then so be it.

Now comes the part I really could not comprehend. The argument went like this : If I dont think about getting married, then I will not meet anyone whom I would want to get married to. Whoa ! So that means, I must actively aspire towards getting married, only then can I ever hope to find a person to whom I can get married. I thought this worked the other way round. If you find a person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you get married to that person (bear with me on this, this is still a socially acceptable statement, and i am just using this as a logical stopgap measure. does not mean that i agree with it)

So that implies that a desire to be married is a part of a normal human psyche. Is it ? Actually, looking at most people I know, it seems to be true. An arranged marriage is the most glaring example of this. It is clearly saying that people want to be married, and the parents are just acting as matchmakers. I have not yet seen an arranged "just sex" or "just going out" or "just have fun" match ! (Note to self : can be a good business idea. But that that is the casual encounters section of craigslist. Too late again! ).

My dad tells me that they can start looking, or can put an ad in the papers. They want to just help me meet women, there is no pressure to marry someone they choose. How do I tell them that I am fine with the meeting women part. But can it be just for casual sex ? Or even just hanging out at a bar. Maybe if the sex is fantastic, or the conversation over some booze is exemplary, we can decide to meet again. And maybe (you never know, let me be nice and not dismiss this offhand) this leads to marriage at some point. Now that would be nice .. using your parents to find your next fling ! ParentFling.com, here i come.

Romance : Chandigarh style

Somehow my hometown has taken it upon itself to be the most "Valentined" city in India. Maybe it is because of its monicker : The City Beautiful. V Day is serious business here. According to an alert investigative journalist from the local newspaper, around 10 tonnes of chocolate was sold in the city on Feb 13th. Quite an acheivment for a city with a population of less than a million.

Around 1500 cops were deployed today on the infamous "gheri route". This is a road passing through sectors 9,10 and 11, where a lot of youngesters congregate. Actually, they mostly go round (gheri means "going round" in Punjabi) on their vehicles, looking at each other. This is what passes for a romantic encounter in India. Chandigarh is the favored educational destination for the younglings of the rich farming community in Punjab, so you encounter a lot of "raw" but well off kids. And they have somehow taken it to heart that proposing to a girl on V Day is a slam dunk. Their version of the wooing game is played like this :
1. Ride in a pimped up jeep with the top off with loud music blasting (any similarity to the gangstas is purely coincidental)
2. Honk at random women passing by
3. If there is no favorable response (which is the usual case), get more aggressive and pass lewd comments
4. If still no favorable response (what is the probability of that after step3), go to step 1
5. If there is a couple, direct aggression towards the boy

Let me relate an incident. When i was in college, a friend of mine in Chandigarh started dating this hot girl. A few days later, he is accosted by five huge sardars. It seems that one of them has earmarked the girl as "his", and my friend is "encroaching". Never mind the fact that this sardar has never spoken a word to the girl (and probably never will). Even if he does, what the girl thinks about it is still irrelevant. This is a typical Chandigarh romantic story.

So, coming back to the cops, they "are again determined that they will let love bloom only under their watchful eyes", and "are all set to have cameras rolling to record any untoward incident and have it as a piece of evidence" (direct quotes from the top cop). And the "gheri route" was declared a no-vehicle zone. See what i mean about the city taking V Day very seriously !!

But when i went out to get some food for take-out, I did notice groups of kids in eating joints, taking their first stumbling steps towards a relationship with the opposite sex, feeling out boundaries, marking territory. That was a trip down nostalgia lane. ( and woe betide the first bugger to comment "so how has that changed for you today ?" )

Dont call it Frisco ..

The smell of weed on the streets. Talking to a crackhead on the 22, explaining why a Scotty Cameron putter is so expensive. Parks crowded with sunbathing locals starved for good weather. Mission hipsters sporting varied facial hair hanging out at Zeitgeist. Mopeds being furiously pedalled up hills that they cannot climb on their own power. Boozy outdoor lunches accompanied by Seshan's poignant pontifications. "Dressed to impress" bridge and tunnel folks lining up in record numbers for a desi sounding club event. A profusion of asian women descending on Navin's apartment for the phinal phreakout. Consuming 75 chicken wings (and onion rings) with 3 other stoned people after a night of dancing at Afrolicious. A lunch of "la cubana" in the
deep hispanic mission. Seshan's dates with destiny. Sushi platters arriving and disappearing at record pace.

These are just some of my SF memories from the last trip. I do believe that SF is a state of mind. Or many stoned minds. It may not have a physical reality at all, because it is so apart from its parent geo-political entity. Its the one city in the US where Superbowl Sunday is a non-event. Where two drink sardars will tease a tiger till it comes out of its cage and eats their friend. Where self-expression is a legitimate excuse for any freak show that you see on the street. Where you will run across a yoga/sex commune which offers a course for restoring male self-confidence (all teachers are women).

On a weekend, you can go into a club/bar, and share a joint. But a cigarette is still taboo. When you do have to go outside, you find that the police station is across the street, but you can chose to ignore them while lighting up your reefer, just as they chose to ignore you.

This is why I love this place. I can be what I am, or whatever I want to be.

Some observations on death

My grandmother passed away today. My mom called me as I was on my way to the Dallas Cowboys playoff game with Partha, Madhu and Thombre. I was the first person she called, as she knew it would me daytime in the US. It was not unexpected, she was 93 years old. And it happened very peacefully for her, in her sleep.
I did not feel anything on hearing the news. I did not tell anyone else (whats the point ?). I am going back ASAP to India, not because I want to pay my last respects to her, but because I want to be with my parents at this time, especially my dad. I remember when my grandfather died, I was still in high school. Then too, I do not remember feeling sad, or any sense of loss. Actually I don't remember ever feeling grief at a death. Have I accepted death as a part of life ?
And this is also the reason why I have never really been able to empathize with other people who go through such an experience. I say the words .. sorry about your loss .. but i am really not. I am concerned about the person who suffers through it, but as far as the dead person is concerned, to me its like a chapter that ends. You move on to the next page.
I have had tears in my eyes at times, sometimes even while watching movies (yes, I confess. If Tys can be brave enough, I can too :-) ). But I think the emotions have been other than grief. Maybe it is just a profusion of emotions. But I don't recall ever crying because I was sad. Maybe I am a cold bastard !!!
Now does that mean I am not afraid of death ? I think the possibility of just missing death is what scares me most. Losing any/some physical abilities is more scary than actual death. And I am a proponent of Euthanasia.

Why is our society so fixated on life ? I think it happens more in the "civilized' societies. Any death is something to be avoided at all costs. Millions of dollars are spent on medical research on obscure diseases just because a few people die from it per year, when the same resources can make thousands of lives "better". When it comes to life/death, we start making decisions that are totally irrational. We will keep people on life support for ages, knowing fully well that there is no possibility of recovery, and also no way to ever interact with that person. The premium attached to the boundary between life and death is orders of magnitude more than the premium attached to the boundary between a "good" life and plain survival.
Is it guilt at not doing everything possible to save a life ? Is it a sort of insurance - that if/when your turn comes, you are assured that similar efforts will be made ? Because people are afraid of death ? I would like to see this studied scientifically. Create a measure for "life premium" .. and track it across time and social conditions. Use regression analysis to find causal factors !!! Statistics ! now that's something worse than death for me ;-)

MCL .. yay !

Never thought i could be happy about an injury .. but I will take an MCL tear over an ACL injury any day. Should hopefully be healed in 4-5 weeks .. though the doctor promised that I should be able to negotiate the slopes as early as 2-3 weeks. Fun fun fun.
I have a brace .. looks cool. Going back in 2 weeks for a follow-up. Meanwhile, some icing, some exercises, some stretching is in the works.

Was kinda enjoying the vegging at home, not going anywhere .. ostensibly for resting the knee :-). Have a nice 10 day growth of beard. Of course there are some white hair there .. i made sure i took the pics from the opposite side ;-)

Mommy ! i dreamt of you !

Just had to post this one .. about a dream i had last night.
I am in some remote place with my mom, and since we need to get home, she decides that we should take a couple of the Sea Harrier jets parked nearby (she is a pilot).I have never flown this thing before, but mom reassures me that it should not be a big deal. And its not. I really enjoy the flight to our house (This is my old house, with a vegetable garden attached). We land, and gently guide the jets to a parking spot, keeping to the tracks between the veggie patches.
Next morning, its time to go back, so i try to unlock "my" jet's cockpit with a key that i have, It instantly starts up something inside, and a light starts flashing indicating that the ejection sequence is in progress. I yell out to mom, who peers over to see whats happening. I know that the seat is going to fly out any second, and tell mommy to get away. And sure thing, the ejection seat gets blasted out, but it hits the fan (?? fan in the middle of a field ??) and falls down. I have to jump to avoid it.
Mom calls out to some maintenance guy, who comes and says that this has happened before, and this time he will really get to the root of the problem.
Thats all i remember. Thought i should write it down before i forget.

I can see clearly ..

In winter you get some of the rare SF days when there is no wind, clear skies and a crisp refreshing cold in the air. Nothing better than to go up to a roof (i am glad i have access to some of those) and chill out.
The first set of pics is from PK's roof. This is a raw roof (no proper access, no fencing, and a very rough floor). But those are the best, with nothing to block your view. This was very impromptu (as have been most things for me lately). Went to PK's place, Mandar came over (and later Daju). We just climbed to the roof with our beers, and sat there for about 2-3 hrs.



The roof has some nice graffiti (from god knows when) which provided a nice backdrop to this shot of PK and Duy. And Mandar.



Just some more views .. the middle one is the twin peaks, with its tower, and the right one is looking towards portrero hill.

The second set is from a similar excursion, but this time to Daju's roof. This one is not that open, but again, the day was just amazing.



The building behind the beer can is the new intercontinental hotel.
And finally, a view of the mission district (thats the Mission Delores) against the sun.


I also wanted to mention a camera that i have bought for Niki .. Its a Panasonic DMC-FZ18. The most exciting feature : it has a 18x optical zoom. Yes .. optical. Thats equivalent to a 28-504 mm lens in 35 mm terms ! And of course, an image stabilizer with that. Takes RAW pictures also. A pretty good camera for its price .. i really love the zoom you can get out if it ! All the Daju pictures are from that.

Waiting for Godot .. with a bum knee

I still don't have a date for my oath-taking ceremony .. the reason for my current SF trip. I did go to the office, and was duly assured by one of the keepers of information there, that I was still in the system, being processed, and could expect a date of 24th Jan. But as i still have not gotten any official confirmation for this, I am gestating in a state of limbo.
Today Daju also left for NYC. This, along with PK (India/Israel) and Mandar (Vegas), ensures that there are very few options left to hang out with in the city.

And the worst of it .. My knee is kaput !
Went to Kirkwood with Daju and his friend for a snowboard trip. On Saturday evening, while just getting my groove back, the slopes decided not to like me anymore, and i spun out wildly in a spray of powder. I have had lots of wipeouts before, but I knew this was bad. For one, my body had twisted around from momentum, using my right knee as the fulcrum. And this was not one of the directions the knee is meant to twist in. Excruciating pain in the knee. Good thing about wipeouts on a snowboard is that you can easily roll over and sit on your butt after the fall .. and all i could do was take deep breaths, to keep myself from screaming out in pain. I think it was about 5 minutes before i could think again.
From all the incidents i had heard/read about, the one thing i remembered was to ice the joint immediately. So I start piling up some snow on my knee. People are looking at me quite weirdly .. It seemed like I was trying to build a snow cave around my leg. Sat there for about 15 mins. The pain subsided a little. And all this time i am thinking .. ACL .. ACL .. ACL ..!! Too many people i know have had to say goodbye to any kind of physical sport after suffering from a torn ACL. And I don't even want to contemplate an extended period of time without sports.
I rode down. Not too bad. Maybe this is just a sprain. WTF .. lets go up again. And I did. Took it easy. Gingerly navigated my way down. And my knee let me know that it was a bad idea. Borrowed a plastic bag, filled it with some of the abundantly available snow, put it on my knee and sat down to wait for Daju. The pain kept coming and going. That night was quite bad .. could not sleep .. did not know what position my knee would be comfortable in. Finally figured out late morning, and caught a couple of hours of shuteye.
And of course, there are no doctors offices open, today being Christmas day. So I am just waiting again .. to find out whats wrong, how bad it is, and will I have to give up THE major passions in my life. Trolling the omniscient internet for advice has yielded no definite answers at all. Plans for going to Tahoe again next weekend will have to be canceled .. even if the injury is not that bad, will have to give it a rest. And I was relying on some snow sports to break the tedium of the other wait. This truly sucks.

I can walk, but there is a lingering pain in the knee, and I have to walk with a limp. And I dont want to exert the knee too much before i know whats going on. That means no walks to the mission, no dancing, no bar hopping, and no wandering about the city on such a lovely sunny day. I hate being cooped up inside the house without options. Not that i was roaming about the city everyday, but just the fact that i cannot do it anymore is bothering me. And i dare not contemplate the worst case scenario .. losing mobility for an extended period of time.

I have never had an injury before that I know can be really bad. Or maybe I did not know enough when i had them. The fact that I might have to give up something that has been such a integral part of my life is really messing me up. And the fact that I dont know !!! I will prob have to wait another week or so to get a doctors appt (if i am lucky .. the medical system here is totally screwed up). So till then ..

San Francisco Psychedelia

"Lets start with crashing the McKinsey holiday party".
Any evening that begins with this remark has a potential to go in any direction. And needs proper preparations. A suit, for instance. For which i had to bring out an old friend from imminent retirement. I have had this black suit for about 7 years now .. bought it when i moved from development to presales (predicting that i would need some formal clothing). Well, it has seen many a wedding (Including the famous Deepak Arya matrimony) and holiday parties. But, it is in the last stages of its life, with shoulders sagging a little bit .. and it was the only option available at this short notice. Annamootai promised a shirt. I had black shoes. This made up a acceptable combination which would ensure that we would not be thrown out by the security. Annamootai's dwelling was designated as the base for the evening.

And there were the tried and tested natural products for achieving a state of mind elevation which is needed to survive such an evening. Two small ones were rolled (hey .. backup is always good) and duly stashed.
Found cabs pretty easily all evening (which was lucky - this is supposed to be one of most busy nights for cabbies in SF). First stop was the Sacred Heart school in Pac Heights where Anna made an appearance, while I had a drink at the bar. Then we made our way to the Asian Arts Museum.

Met up with some old friends from previous holiday parties (I did crash the same party last year too !). Jack and Sarah were there. Nice food. Free booze. Some good looking women. I was soon making polite (and hopefully logical) conversation with random folks. The DJ started playing some quite lame music. I later found out that he had been instructed to play only "safe" songs. People were dancing. I did manage to take a tour of the museum at one point in time (10 minutes .. thats all i could stand). But somehow the end of the evening found just two enthusiastic people on the floor, requesting some Dr Dre from the DJ. No points for guessing who these were.

This place was closing down. We went outside, and partook the green stuff. On to Bubble Lounge for the afterparty. (Yeah .. i know .. lameass bar, but again, the promise of free booze is a powerful magnet). Met some more old friends. I guess Annamootai did too, because by the time we left, he was getting desperate text messages. Hit the local taco joint to get some food, and ordered a burrito to go. Which was very important for the next stage of the evening. This was about 3:30 AM. This burrito was used to assist in the consumption of a different variety of flora. Yes .. the 'shrooms !! At this point I advised Anna to go and do his thing .. the lady friend was waiting. And i fell asleep, just barely registering the fact that my consciousness was elevating to another level.

Woke up when Annamootai came back at sunrise. Woke up to a beautiful sunrise. I have rarely seen such a clear and bright day in SF. No, this was even true without accounting for my enhanced state of mind. Piled on some clothes and ventured out onto the patio. There could not have been a better time, or a better place, to enjoy the new discoveries I was making about the hidden recesses of my own mind. Explosions of pleasure were bursting out in a spontaneous manner. Colors were vivid and flowing. The sharp chill in the patio was contrasting very nicely with the comfortable warmth of Anna's living room couch. We did talk to each other, but soon realized that words were not the right medium to express thoughts at that point.

I did take some pictures .. although i was restricted by the absence of any decent camera.
Anna should have some better ones in his blackberry, which i will upload later.

Anyway .. today I will not describe what I went through that morning. I will leave that to another time, when I am a little more sure of it. Suffice to say, it was one of the most intense experiences of my life. Tried to get some sleep in the afternoon. Read an interesting book, Whatever, by Michel Houellebecq. And spent a relaxing evening at Casanova and Pad Thai.

So some observations on Annamootai. At a time when I was quite drunk (and stoned), and would have just gone to sleep, Anna pushes to consume some 'shrooms, goes to fulfill a duty, and comes back home because he has promised me that he will be back. Ah .. and in the morning, he calls up Gemma, who by chance is going to India at the same time as him. And is showing some signs of finally falling for our boy. As i remarked to Daju, he might be born with a deep connection with the "force", which is usually interpreted as being "lucky". People have been trying to achieve this in various ways - meditation, religion, cults - but I now think that there are folks who are born with it. More on this later :-)

Goa : Up in smoke !

This was quite a spontaneous trip. Navin said that he would be coming to Goa on the weekend of the 1st Dec (Thurs-Sun), and I decided to join him, even though I was planning to go to San Fran on the 3rd. Figured i could enjoy three days of sun and sand. And Navin promised to introduce me to the underground party scene in Goa, because Noura had some contacts there.

Well .. we did stay in North Goa to be near the scene, but never did make it to any gig. Because we spent 3 days stoned to the gills. Eating, drinking and smoking up were the main focus.
Noura managed to procure a starter pack from friend of hers. That was for the Thursday evening. We did meet Colin that night (he was occupying the room above Navin's) who offered some really nice stuff. We sat by the pool listening to the old tried and tested iPod stereo. Noura and I were alternately DJing, so the music was fresh at all times. Colin also enthralled us with some stories from his much-chequered past. Or his fictional much-chequered past !

Next day, I got my rented bike, and we drove for an hour to this isolated beach past Arambol, where Noura proved her resourcefulness by finding more sources. After this, we were set for the weekend. Highlights were some excellent grilled Pomfret, cold beer, and the discovery that being stoned really does not impair your ability to drive (my theory is that it is a very instinctive activity, so dont need the higher faculties of the brain). Of course, trying to find your way is a totally different thing ! But Navin/Noura did manage to guide us home every night.

And we did manage to catch "Goldmember", playing in one of the roadside bars. And the very end of "Pulp Fiction". (Note to self : Watch Pulp Fiction atleast once every 6 months)

I remember sitting on the same chair for six hours one afternoon. Food and drinks were on tap, local women were selling fresh fruits, and we were watching the convoluted attempts of many a goggle-eyed tourist to surreptitiously include the scantily clad sunbathing women in their pictures and videos.

Then there was "Curlees", where there is this small area of moss covered stones on the beach, little kids playing with hippie parents, good electronic music floating out. Life was good

When i said i was travelling ..

I really was !

Consider this :

Oct 26, 8:00 PM : night train to Jodhpur (12 hrs)
Oct 28, 8:00 PM : night train back to Delhi (12 hrs) (I will have more on this journey)
Oct 31, 7:40 AM: morning Shatabdi to Chandigarh
Nov 1, 1:30 AM, : Late night train back to Delhi
Nov 2: Flight to San Francisco (a mere 24 hrs)
Nov 13 : Flight back from San Francisco (reach at 4:30 AM) (only 22 hrs this time)
Nov 13, 12:00 PM : Drive to Karnal (3 hrs) for cousin's pre-wedding party (afternoon)
Nov 14, 2 PM : Drive to Chandigarh (2.5 hrs) for same cousin's wedding
Nov 15, 1 AM : Drive back to Karnal (2.5 hrs)
Nov 15, 2 PM : Drive to Delhi (3 hrs)
Nov 17, 7:40 AM : morning Shatabdi to Chandigarh (to attend's friends event) (3.5 hrs)
Nov 17, 6:20 PM : evening Shatabdi back to Delhi (3.5 hrs)

So, if i tell any one of you that i have been busy travelling, better believe me. This is same reason i will give for not having updated my blog in a while.

I do plan to publish accounts of the Jodhpur and San Fran trips very soon. I promise.

IIT .. and basketball ... again

It was only me and Bhupi today .. everyone else bailed out. So we shot around a bit, played a bit with some kids, and then these 2 young guys who showed up. nothing really great so far. Then we ran into some other alumni (junior to us though). Then played 2 intense and good games of 3 on 3. Bhupi is still shooting like machine, and just on that strength we managed to beat the young 'uns. Both bhupi and i were in no hurry to get back home, nothing planned for the rest of the day. We played till about 8:30 or so. In the lights.
Went to canteen for some coffee after that.
Felt very good about the whole thing. Somehow the quiet IIT campus, a good, tiring b'ball game, the cool evening and the coffee instilled a sense of well-being that I think i have been missing for a while. And am actually enjoying the Sunday evening, sitting at home, having had a warm shower and some good home cooked food. (thanks Mona).
Yeah .. evenings are becoming cooler. No longer can you just jump into the cold shower. And i think i will need a sweatshirt the next time i go play.
Legs are in that tired state where i know i will have cramps at night. Can feel it in the calves. But as i said, this is a good tiredness.
Two people i missed today : Parthasarthy and Bhandari.. both of you would have loved this evening. And it would have been great if you were here. You can probably appreciate what i am talking about. BTW.. I dont know when the Sportech is, will find out and let you know.

The laid back Delhi

As i mentioned, Nishat, Jodie and Mark landed in town Sunday night. They wanted to see atleast some historical Delhi. We decided on breakfast at Chokola in Khan Mkt, then Humayun's Tomb and finally Qutb in the evening.
Well .. we woke up at 11:30, and breakfast (no longer !) was at 1:00. But we had some excellent drinking chocolate. Both hot and cold. Creamy and sweet ! mmm mmm mmm !!! This is the french toast, which was ok. This capture is attributed to Jodie.

This was my first time at Humayun's Tomb also. I was armed with an article written by one of our experts, specifically for first time visitors to the place. But i think we all were in a very relaxed mode, and were more interested in wandering about than actually discovering the cultural significance of this World Heritage Monument. And taking pictures.
This place is actually quite cool. Not crowded at all .. greenery all around .. very quiet .. and very very relaxing. Its like a isolated oasis of peace in the middle of the mad rush which is Delhi.

This is the main tomb reflected in one of the water features. I got this concept from Andre Fanthome, one of the photographers on our expert panel. Thanks dude.

Very impressive structure, I would rank it very close to the Taj Mahal. For this next pic, I asked Nishat to pose here, but she was looking very stiff. Then i asked her to walk towards me .. and this time she looked much more relaxed and at home.


We reached this place at around 2:30, and it was not very hot. But in the evening, the weather was just perfect. And so was the light. We just sat around in one of the shaded areas, enjoying the atmosphere.


Went to Kareem's for dinner around 10 (near Jama Masjid) after picking up Niki and Sonam. It is ramadan time, so the whole area was really bustling. Mark got a long video as we were walking through the galis. I still have not seen it, but it must be really psychedelic. Ate quite a lot. In fact, the next day, i did not feel hungry all day. A very satisfying end to a great day.

50 mm ..

Elevate was the destination last saturday night. Was waiting for the Gurgaon folks to show up. Relaxed. Having a drink. Realized I had not been able to use the 5D in a while, and decided to bring it out.


I had been reading about going back to the basics .. with a 50 mm lens. So popped my 50mm F1.8 (yeah , it is about $80) and started taking shooting. It was night, so the large aperture was allowing me to shoot without a flash. Our house is a veritable mecca for such an occasion. There are enough objects (from Sonal's shoots) to make some interesting subjects. Tried out various things. Here are some samples




Switched to other people when the folks arrived. (this is AK, Juhi, Kalsi, Johri, with Nat in the front)


With this one, i dont know if it was camera shake, or if Nat moved. But the picture is a little blurred. Would have been a nice shot otherwise.


Will post some pics from Humayun's Tomb next time, where i went for the first time, with Nishat, Jodi and Mark

Late night eats

Its the second consecutive day that i am going to bed at this time. Its 5:30 AM right now .. went to Elevate with Johri, Kalsi, Juhi (Kalsi's wife). Re, AK, Nat, Sumedha. Quite a happening evening there. But could feel it in my legs, after the 18 holes of golf.
After Elevate, folks wanted to have some food. The first thing that came to my mind was Nizamuddin. This is the muslim part of Delhi, and as the Ramadan is going on, I was pretty sure that some good food would be found there. Johri knows of this excellent place in one of the shadier bylanes of the area. I mean, its ok normally, but at 4 AM at night, during Ramadan, with this one white chic and two other women, I was a bit apprehensive. Nat gave us not choice, she was the first out of the Safari, and went to buy some ciggies at the nearest paan shop. People were staring at us all this time. Me and Johri made an effort to go and check out the place, but it was closed. On the way back, Nat had the urge to interact with two sufis smoking a chillum. Very tempting that chillum.Looked really good. But in the interest of sanity, we went back to our SUV, and drove to the more comfortable area around the railway station.
This is another one of those places that will amaze you. You see some really gorgeous women, just coming back from a night out (just like us. in fact, we spotted some people who were in Elevate with us). If I was not so hungry, there was some interesting exploration that could have been done.
And this Sumedha chick .. she was born in Rohtak ! But quite cute i must say. I dont know what was here problem, but she never really got into the groove of things. Needs to be further pursued maybe.
Juhi, on the other hand, was quite a revelation. Really cool woman. First time i really hung out with her.
Anyway, back to the eating joint. It could have been straight from a movie. Everyone dressed up, gold dust sparkling, gelled hair shining in the bright lights. And very open PDAs. (public display of affection). India is really changing. Although, the same gestures, about 200 m away, in the heart of Nizamuddin, would probably be an invitation for a nice beating, if not worse. And same with Elevate. Young folks enjoying themselves in every way. Cannot distinguish it from a similar place anywhere else in the world. Maybe better than most.
Getting really late now. Will sign off on that note.