Now that my grandmom is no more, my parents are trying to find a new thing to worry about. Yesterday they decided to bring a dead horse back to life. They wanted to know when I would get married, and why I was refusing to entertain them on this aspect. I told them that its as simple as not having any desire towards it. Logically, this usually signifies the last step in an argument : If I dont want to do it, why should I ? But we decided to go further into it. Why did I not desire the blessed state of matrimony ? Was I against the institution ? No, I said. If at some point I meet someone who inspires this desire in me, then so be it.
Now comes the part I really could not comprehend. The argument went like this : If I dont think about getting married, then I will not meet anyone whom I would want to get married to. Whoa ! So that means, I must actively aspire towards getting married, only then can I ever hope to find a person to whom I can get married. I thought this worked the other way round. If you find a person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you get married to that person (bear with me on this, this is still a socially acceptable statement, and i am just using this as a logical stopgap measure. does not mean that i agree with it)
So that implies that a desire to be married is a part of a normal human psyche. Is it ? Actually, looking at most people I know, it seems to be true. An arranged marriage is the most glaring example of this. It is clearly saying that people want to be married, and the parents are just acting as matchmakers. I have not yet seen an arranged "just sex" or "just going out" or "just have fun" match ! (Note to self : can be a good business idea. But that that is the casual encounters section of craigslist. Too late again! ).
My dad tells me that they can start looking, or can put an ad in the papers. They want to just help me meet women, there is no pressure to marry someone they choose. How do I tell them that I am fine with the meeting women part. But can it be just for casual sex ? Or even just hanging out at a bar. Maybe if the sex is fantastic, or the conversation over some booze is exemplary, we can decide to meet again. And maybe (you never know, let me be nice and not dismiss this offhand) this leads to marriage at some point. Now that would be nice .. using your parents to find your next fling ! ParentFling.com, here i come.
1 year ago